Alright, let's get this straight. Earnings season: it's less about actual growth and more about which companies can BS their way through another quarter without completely imploding. And this week, we've got Figma, The Trade Desk, and Airbnb lined up for potential cardiac arrest. Buckle up, folks, because it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Figma: Still Riding the IPO Hype Train?
Figma, Figma, Figma... where do I even start? This company came out swinging, hit $140 practically overnight, and then promptly face-planted. Now they're trying to convince us that a 46% increase from their IPO price is still something to celebrate? Give me a break.
They're touting this "intuitive and AI-fueled design platform," and yeah, maybe it's slick. But slick doesn't pay the bills when your revenue growth is slowing faster than my interest in another superhero movie. Their net dollar retention rate is tanking, too – down for two straight quarters. "Weakest rate in more than a year," the report says. Translation: their biggest customers are starting to realize they're paying too much for what they're getting.
And what about that guidance? A measly 33% increase? That's not growth; that's life support. The market already punished them once for it, sending the stock into a nosedive. What makes them think this time will be any different? Do they have some magic AI trick up their sleeve that's gonna suddenly make everyone want to pay $90 a month for their platform? I seriously doubt it. Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here.
The Trade Desk: From Darling to Disaster?
The Trade Desk is another story of hubris. Eight years of flawless performance, and then BAM! They miss guidance not once, but twice. And now they expect us to believe that a measly 14% revenue growth is acceptable?
They call themselves a "programmatic advertising pioneer." I call them a company that got fat and lazy and is now scrambling to stay relevant in a rapidly changing landscape. The good news? You can buy them for 23 times next year's earnings. The bad news? Those earnings projections are gonna keep dropping until they're trading at meme stock levels.
What happened to the good old days of consistently exceeding expectations? Did they get too comfortable? Did they stop innovating? Or did the competition finally catch up? These are the questions I'm asking, and I'm not hearing any convincing answers.
Speaking of questions, I'm starting to wonder if my internet bill is too high. Maybe I should switch providers. Comcast is the devil, but Verizon... nah, they're probably just as bad. Anyway, back to these terrible stocks. As others have pointed out, these are 3 Stocks That Can Break Your Heart This Week.
Airbnb: The Party's Over?
And then there's Airbnb. Flat for three months, which apparently qualifies as a win these days. But let's be real: the party's over. The digital nomad craze is dying as companies drag their employees back to the office. Consumer spending is slowing down. And international travel? Forget about it with all the geopolitical BS going on.
"Revenue growth is slowing for the fourth consecutive year," the report says. Nine percent growth is a "sequential step down." Translation: they're screwed.
Oh, and they authorized a $6 billion share buyback. Because what better way to prop up a failing stock than to throw money at it? It's like trying to fix a leaky faucet with duct tape made of hundred dollar bills. Sure, the multiple looks "historically low," but that's because the company's future looks historically bleak.
The worst part? They're still trying to sell us on the dream of "belonging anywhere." But belonging anywhere costs money, and people are starting to realize they can't afford it anymore.
So, What's the Real Story?
These companies are all facing the same fundamental problem: they're not growing fast enough to justify their valuations. They're all trying to convince us that everything's fine, but the numbers don't lie. And I, for one, am not buying it.